Day 162 - A Year to Clear - Hurt People Hurt People

Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash

Lesson 162: Hurt People Hurt People

“Hurt people hurt people. That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.”

— Yehuda Berg

New week equals a new theme of “Breaking the Chain of Pain”. It’s such a powerful message from that quote – hurt patterns are passed on from one person to another. When I really think about this, I find that it doesn’t matter what type of pain people experience, it’s easy to influence those around you with the thoughts you have towards that pain. Usually I find negative thoughts accompany pain and when one person has a certain perspective towards their situation, this can also change the perspective of others towards that painful situation. People can influence others without even realising.

I try to recognise my pain, understand it and meet it with a more uplifting emotion. It’s really harder said than done, but it’s something I actively try and practise. When I was growing up, my mother always tried to give my brother and I the best possible environment even though she didn’t grow up in the best of circumstances. After my parents divorce, my mum always had the greatest of attitudes to give us the best life that she could. I had a lot of pain from that divorce but it wasn’t something my mum passed onto me. I do wonder if my dad had past pain and that got passed onto me through his actions. Because I don’t know much about his upbringing and his relationship with his own father, I can’t say for sure. Right now, I’m trying to repair my own relationship with my father by applying compassion. It’s taking a great effort but it will happen in time.

I personally have got to a place where I am trying to deal with pain differently. It takes practise and awareness, and frankly, isn’t always easy to overcome. Anyway, seems like this week is another week of pain and what we can do to clear it. I will see if there is anything new I can learn as I feel like I’ve come a long way in dealing with my own.

Day 90 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - In This Lifetime...

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Lesson 90: In This Lifetime...

Whether it is this lifetime or another, there will be times when we hurt others and others hurt us. By really accepting this allows us to open our consciousness. We can hold the compassion for this which then frees ourselves. Today is about considering the following – do you think you can allow yourself to be free of self-loathing for past mistakes or what you may have done to others?

I think it would take some good reflection, acceptance, self-awareness, forgiveness, releasing and compassion in order to stop yourself from self-loathing. I think it would take some time to work through your own battles, but I truly believe everyone can apply compassion to themselves in order to move forward. Whatever you did was definitely in the past, though if you apply your own understanding of why you chose to hurt someone, then it allows for all the acceptance and forgiveness to follow suit.

Sometimes people can’t or don’t want to face up to their truths. There is so much vulnerability by admitting to yourself, let alone others. You do need self-awareness to recognise how your actions has hurt another. You can only then understand and accept, reflect on it and forgive, then move onto applying compassion to yourself and then release it back into the Universe. I don’t think it can be done overnight, but definitely should be done at your own pace. I think it can be very confronting to look at those moments when you hurt another person. If you need to say sorry, then do it. Your words to another may be all that is needed to move forward also.