Day 50 - A Year to Clear - What's Your Story?
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Lesson 50: What's Your Story?
““The human mind: It’s the best drama machine around. It’s portable. It runs day and night, even, and especially, when we’re not aware of it or paying attention. It is infinitely expandable and requires only imagination to operate. It cranks out some of the best stories around. Just feed it a few tidbits of hearsay, half-truths, some emotional charge, some childhood memories (the more traumatic, the better), and voila, you’re cooking, baby — with fire!” —Your Spacious Self”
Today We have a new week and a new theme – “Releasing Old Stories”. Stephanie has us thinking about what stories we are telling today and to remind us that we are not our stories.
Today there was me spouting how much I hated the placed I worked at. Honestly, I dislike being this person. I dislike not having control of my environment and being forced into something that I don’t like. The problem with work is that we have been undergoing a restructure. From late November to who knows when, this restructure is to take place. It means I cannot take on new projects, cannot take on new processes, and basically need to phase out what I’m doing until we get a new manager, and my counter parts in other states have been employed. So, here I am, in limbo struggling to go to work every day, because I don’t have direction nor a purpose. For someone who strives in structure, this is a major struggle for me day in and day out. It is absolutely draining mentally and therefore takes some toll on my body.
Every day I will do what I enjoy after work but I feel that it’s not enough. If work takes up the majority of your day and that’s miserable, then I need to rest to get over the draining day, it’s actually consuming more of my time that I’d like. You’re probably thinking “find another job” “talk to someone to make a change” – but don’t think for one second that I haven’t considered my options. I am stuck. I can’t seem to find jobs outside of the company for my skill set at a decent wage nor can I see jobs advertised within the company that I think I can do.
This is the story I am currently spinning with everyone. It’s annoying because it’s not the person I want to be and I know that it’s definitely not my story. I want so badly for some update on my future but it’s in the hand of others until they communicate it or get their act together. Personally, it’s a drag and I want out of it. This is not the person I truly want to reflect at work and outside.