Day 12 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Imagine Your Body As

Photo by Ahmad Odeh on Unsplash

Lesson 12: You may imagine your own body as...

I did this exercise on the Friday but didn't have the opportunity to write down what I had experienced. 

It was an interesting exercise having to imagine my body as a baby and holding myself to my heart, and then imagining myself as the older version of myself before my death. Again, I was to hold myself to my heart and expand my heart to feel what would come.

I was to understand that my body is ever changing and is a "divine container". Each day, changes occur to the point we don't recognise ourselves. I can't say that I have paid attention on a day to day basis but I can see that I have aged. Mostly noticeable the grey hairs are coming out which means age is coming for me. One day I will be unrecognisable to myself but will it matter? 

Everything leads to us eventually sheddding skin until our soul emerges. That, I think has a double meaning - by going on this spiritual awakening, we peel back layers to find our true selves and our souls emerge to the world, but then eventually when we pass on, we shed our divine container to join other souls in the next life. I think both are both beautiful in themselves but it's also what I believe now. It's having this faith in myself and the change I want to see in others also.

So from my meditation I was a bit hesitant about what would come. Not sure why, but I guess I didn't believe I'd be able to imagine my infant self and then the "day before your death" self. I opened myself to the Divine and baby me appeared instantly. I was newborn and in white. When I held myself, it felt like I was holding my own baby (I don't have a baby so don't know the sensation) and felt fulfilment. Then I moved onto the aged version of myself. It was a different experience - as if my older version was seeing me as death and knew that her time had come. It was if she didn't want to leave so there was this sadness, but at the same time I was there to reassure older me that it was okay. When we embraced there was this unspoken knowing. I definitely comforted her so that she would accept her leaving this life to go onto the next. I believe I was repeating "it's okay, it's okay" to older me though not in a condescending way. It seemed tough for older me to let go. I did feel an overwhelming love come from my older self. It was a surreal feeling - like this abundance of warmth was being spread. My heart did feel more open and accepting.

I don't fully understand the message of this lesson. I feel like I will in coming days when it all unravels in this course. Was I seeing a glimpse of the future? And, did I travel to the past? Am I to open my heart more? Or is it all of the above? I don't want to overthink it and just appreciate, the experience I had.

Day 12 - A Year to Clear - Look Up

Photo by Majid Sadr on Unsplash

Lesson 12: Look Up

Today’s lesson is to look up from the computer screen and recognise something of beauty. Taking a minute to really use awareness and focus on the details. Focusing on how it makes me feel.

I got up from my computer at work and looked out the window. I like being in a high rise being able to look outside. I like looking at the cars move with unity and people walking going about their day. I especially like how tiny everything looks at this level and that everything below looks like toys to play with. I can see the beach in the distance and it is a gloomy day today in Melbourne, so grey fills the city. I watch the clouds move and think about how free it looks up there. There is a rooftop garden that’s empty but the layout looks carefully architectured from my point of view. Looking at all the other buildings often makes me wonder how great it must have been to have been the designer of such structures. How someone must have looked up at their creation and thought “I did this” and how magnificent that must feel. I am always in awe of concrete jungles and what it must have taken to build such a city.

What I do notice is that it’s very calming. To be able to not focus on anything else but what I’m seeing. I often wonder what all those people down there are thinking about. But there is a beauty in just being an observer to the outside world. There’s a stillness and peaceful feeling with no sound to accompany what I’m seeing. Just being appreciative of being where I am is enough.