Day 52 - A Year to Clear - Not True

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Lesson 52: Not True

“I like using the word “spin” to describe what we do with thoughts, beliefs, and stories that no longer serve us. It also has a nice double-meaning:
We can spin a web (of worries, untruths, painful memories), like a spider spins her web. Or we can chew on a thought so much that we spin in circles and go nowhere fast.”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

By spinning these negative thoughts, they cycle through and get us stuck with our continual attention. We tend to stick to these stories which really do us no good. Imagine being stuck on something negative and never being able to break the cycle of this bad habit. I am to think today what story am I spinning in and that I’d like to release.

Honestly, the current story I am spinning is my work situation. For those that don’t know, my company had a restructure which meant I am transitioning to the new role. Currently there is management arguing whether it’s a good change, whilst my department specifically got dismantled and now some people are questioning why. We should have stayed together to do the one job that people are now trying to avoid. So here I am stuck in limbo until someone decides what to do with us. It’s very demoralising at work for not only me and my team mates. I just hope at the end of it all, they don’t decide “oh hey you’ve all lost your jobs” mostly because I need this to survive.

The problem is, every day there is little bits of news that isn’t good news to my situation and this is why I keep telling my story daily. If I could release this, it would really do me some good.

Day 52 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening -The heart opens over and over again...

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Lesson 52: The heart opens over and over again...

“Lesson 52: The heart opens over and over again, until the heart within the heart, the Ananda Kanda, finally is able to become illuminated and infused with light. These openings happen in the most ordinary moments of every lifetime.”

— Sara Wiseman

Today’s lesson is about recognising what I’ve been open to this week and what I have resisted.

I can honestly say I haven’t resisted much except for a seating change at work. I just really liked the view I had overlooking the suburbs from the city. It is always refreshing to have that view and I resisted the change because I’ll miss it. But with all things in life, you have to go with the flow and roll with it.

I have been more open in just my life experiences. Monday I went to belly dance class even though I nearly had a lazy episode and didn’t want to go. But I pushed myself because I need it to get some exercise routine in my life. I had to tell myself “no Liana you’ve got to go” to pick myself up and just do it.

Tuesday I had a group meditation which was very uplifting. We worked with the crow to see what visions and messages we would get. All I remember was flying over an island which had a lot of greenery and the sea was a very distinctive blue. I kept drifting out of consciousness and jerked back into the meditation. A lot of fragmented pictures but the main message was for me to be aware of toxic people and don’t let overrun my life. Was a good experience.

And today, I went to George Maple’s gig and it was such a good gig, I’m still beaming from it. Just nice to be free and dance around with strangers enjoying and soaking up the music. There’s no better feeling of having that freedom to express yourself.

So what have you experienced this week?

Day 51 - A Year to Clear - The Human Mind

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Lesson 51: The Human Mind

“The human mind is a powerful generator that cannot be turned off; it can only be directed.”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

Today I am asked what thoughts would I like to redirect, to write them down and then say them out loud.

I would love to redirect my thoughts about my work situation. My work situation has just gotten worse and it’s not really the right headspace that I’ve been creating. I want these to be sent out to the universe and for them to just go away. I don’t like having no control of my work life, limited by management not making decisions fast enough that impact my life. I don’t have direction or structure. If I do not have these things and I’m supposed to wait for someone to figure it out, it leaves me wondering each day “what’s the point?”. If I need to find another job, I would love the universe to send me some opportunities. Free my mind of this cluttered hateful work thoughts and open doors to new opportunities.

Universe, please send me good thoughts and free my mind of this rubbish work clutter. I don’t need this negativity in my life right now!

Day 51 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - If you feel cranky, unhappy or...

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Lesson 51: If you feel cranky, unhappy or...

When we feel stressed, unhappy, confused, fearful, sad etc, these are said to be signs to open our hearts. Can we move beyond these emotions now? I am to think about if I move beyond these emotions now and if not now, why not? And when would be the right time.

How does one measure how open your heart is? I’d like to think I live more openly now than I ever have but am I fully open? I think it’s more than okay to have these emotions without that meaning you’re closed off. Sometimes I have days when I just need to cry as a stress relief. Does that mean I’m closed off? I don’t think so. I think that’s just a form of my own release. Or does the fact that I’m self-aware make me more open, or fully open? I think I live a lot freer than I ever have in terms of my mindset. I don’t want to limit myself, so that means I am open to what comes. I really think my heart is open for receiving. Not all moments are necessarily good ones, but I figure there is some message to be learned, no matter the circumstance.

I guess I’m struggling with having those perceived “negative” emotions as being associated with not being “open”. You can still have these emotions and not actually close yourself off. I don’t think feeling cranky, sad, afraid etc should be automatically categorised as your heart not being open. I feel like these emotions can be circumstantial and/or you’ve lived quite openly and this is could be a reactionary response. Clearly, as you can see I’ve had trouble associating with today’s lesson. All I can say is, live with a more open heart to receive more possibilities. Don’t be limited by thinking that having an emotional response to something is being closed off. This is also just my opinion by the way.

Day 50 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Why do we have to open our hearts...

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Lesson 50: Why do we have to open our hearts...

“Lesson 50: Why do we have to open our hearts? Why can’t we stay in our comfort zone and not be forced to feel everything, open to everything, all of the time? Well, we can. Many people do. This is point of choice for each human in each lifetime.”

— Sara Wiseman

Today I am to ask myself, am I at a point of choice now? I meditated on this and saw what the messages received in my meditation.

I saw a lot of the fire symbol in my meditation. Besides me being a total pyro (no I don’t set things on fire on purpose), the fire elemental symbol of an upward facing triangle kept appearing. This I believe is in relation to me as a fire symbol Leo, I’m a witch and I have this tattooed on my body. I think it was a reminder that I am very much opening up to myself.

Next came flowers. Flowers opening up when touched by light. This very much symbolises how we can open up when we are touched by light. There is much to be open to when you decide to let the divine light in. We learn about ourselves, we learn how we can be towards others and we have a deeper appreciation of life.

I kept getting distracted in my meditation as my mind is frantic thinking about other things. That didn’t stop the message of a dragonfly to come through. Dragonflies usually represent a change or change in perspective of self-realisation. This type of perspective is a mental and emotional maturity with a deeper understanding in life. Well…. That really is what I’m learning and trying to understand – the meaning of life and where I am in all of it. I really have had to open myself up to allow more meaning in.

And lastly, I saw a snake. I usually see snakes as transformation. As it sheds its skin, it sheds the old version of itself to allow for the new transformed version of itself. This currently represents me and the journey I am on and the person I want to be. I see snakes all the time in my meditation. I just think that the snake is there to gently remind me that I’m on the right path and to keep going.

I think I am opening my heart. There are times when I am closed off but I am much more open than I have ever been before. How much have you opened your heart?