Day 46 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Measuring Life

Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash

Lesson 46: This idea of measuring a life...

“Lesson 46: This idea of measuring a life by earth standards? It’s ridiculous. The heart’s opening is the only thing that matters in this lifetime. There’s nothing more important than this.”

— Sara Wiseman

I am to check how my heart feels today and if I’m feeling scared, stressed, unloved or disappointed, to open my heart and feel the expansion and relief.

I think right now I’m wondering how to meet people in order to find love. What kind of activities can I get involved in to socialise more to meet someone. Everyone says you’ll meet someone when you least expect it, and frankly, that’s not comforting at all and sometimes I just find it a bit too cliché. I think I crave to be loved because it’s a nice feeling to send and receive love. I mean it doesn’t stress me out, I’ve just have been thinking how to get out there and where do I find these people. I am a little disappointed as the men I come across are just after sex or can’t hold an honest conversation. It’s a wonder really.  So right now I am feeling a little unloved.

I just went into meditation to ask the universe to open my heart to possibilities. I always feel better when I meditate, even if it’s for 5 minutes. I am open to receive and not going to say I’m ready for love. I’m more ready for what may come my way.

Day 46 - A Year to Clear - Clearing List

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Lesson 46: Small Steps - Clearing List

Today’s lesson is to write down all the things or issues that I want to release, listing 1 as the least challenging and 10 as the most challenging. Any thought or object that stirs some kind of emotional response needs to go on the list. Once the list is complete, I am to notice the sensations that arise.

The problem I have with this lesson is that a lot of buried thought sin my subconscious is coming up from time to time. Sometimes I don’t even realise I am to deal with them for release but I know they will come up over time.

If I am to get my list together of what’s happening right now:

1.       Least Challenging – Physical clutter

2.       My own self doubt

3.       Fear of getting pregnant again (without a partner) and having to have an abortion

4.       My laziness

5.       Memories of old lovers

6.       That I may never find a partner

7.       Most Challenging - Relationship with my dad

This is all I can think of right now. I know these are definitely things that will take time to work through. I do have a goal by the end of the year to slowly release these. They are my challenges and I really think they are as challenging as each other. I can’t even really look at this list because it’s some hard truths as well. I am literally struggling to read it again through some avoidance. I know they are holding me back. I think as I release, it means I become more open. I look forward to that day when these are cleared.