Day 64 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Heart of Hearts Illuminated

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Lesson 64: When the heart of hearts is illuminated...

When we start to let the Divine Light in, we definitely see things starting to unfold in our lives. We can start to think, feel and sense differently. Today is about imagining just a touch of Divine Light coming into our hearts. Closing our eyes and seeing that light enter our hearts as well as the Ananda Kanda. Just feeling whatever comes.

I know I have done this exercise not along ago but I still enjoy it. I closed my eyes and immediately the light was shining upon me spinning around me from above like a fan. I could see light being circled around, exactly as if it was light passing through a fan. It was different. I imagined my chest opening and having this light come in. It was like my chest and ribs opened like doors to accept this light. I felt very much in motion as this light came to offer me some peace. When I opened my eyes, it was like I was fresh again. Love that feeling. Such a good exercise to perform. Feel a bit of the light today, it’s most enjoyable.

Day 64 - A Year to Clear - Breathe In, Breathe Out

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Lesson 64: Breathe In, Breathe Out

“Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

New week equals a new theme. This week we have “Breathing in Calm”. This is such a good exercise. It’s usually something I do when I meditate – envision white light above me, I breathe in that beautiful white light and then exhale the black negative energy out. I feel like this is such a relaxing and calming activity. This quote is so true in achieving a calmer state. And more than usual, I always smile once I open my eyes from meditation. There is such a mellow feeling in the body after you do some simple breathing exercises. It’s great! You should definitely try it!

Day 63 - A Year to Clear - Check In WEEK 9 - Inserting Awareness

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Lesson 63: Check In WEEK 9 - Inserting Awareness

“Our focus this week was to release the stressful build-up in our lives; to practice inserting pure compassionate awareness into the tight spots and jiggling loose what’s there — like an human acupuncture needle.
Were you aware of any shifts in energy this week? Do you notice a difference when you let go of attachment to the outcome and surrender to what is?”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

So, looking back on the past week, I was very tired. This was very much so due to some mediumship course I am doing with a power shift occurring. I don’t think I really focused on clearing with awareness as much as I should have, but I definitely did this when we went through this same theme in week 2.

I recognise my feelings when I’m feeling myself tense up over a situation. I do let the feelings arise and then remind myself to not let it consume me. I really just breathe through it. Breathing is such a powerful tool when controlled. I think with the clearing exercises I have undertaken, I know that it will take time. Since this course is very much a slow drip method, it’s all about slow releases to one day, have all the tools to approach all things in life with these methods. I am very much building myself up for a better version of myself.

Day 63 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - The Awakening Into the Awareness of Pain

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Lesson 63: The awakening into the awareness of pain...

“Lesson 63: The awakening into the awareness of pain is like a numb person becoming conscious. This opening is similar to a sliver of light finding its way through the many wrappings of the heart: the outer cocoon of the body, the emotional armor we all put up, the actual physical heart, and finally into the inner heart: the heart of hearts.”

— Sara Wiseman

Today’s lesson is all about taking some time to open our hearts. We are to work through these layers and all the armour. We are to hold the pain, feel it and release it. This is the start of our transformation.

I very much undertook this exercise via meditation. I called in spirit to guide me to peel through the four layers and get to my heart’s heart. I was envisioning white cleansing light showering over me whilst also filling up my heart. I decided to work on the emotions tied to my ex. There is very much frustration developed from the hurt he caused me. I held onto this feeling and imagined it exiting my body as a black smoke into the sun. I released it out for the sun to absorb because I feel the sun can absorb anything and still burn on. During this meditation, I saw a butterfly, which to me signifies new beginnings, and then me riding a white horse after all this release. It looked like me being ready to be in charge. I liked the way I looked upon that horse – freer, stronger, a leader.

This exercise can be done with anything that is needed for release. We know what’s causing our pain and all we need to do is recognise it, take a moment (or several moments) with it, and release with compassion. Everything to me is a lesson and we can only grow further than we have imagined.

Day 62 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Heart of Pain

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Lesson 62: Some of you have been through...

Today is again on the topic of pain in our heart’s passage. Some of us have been through pain and safeguarded ourselves, locked our hearts away or haven’t been open our hearts back up again. Some of us have gone through some pain, allowed it to pass through, dealt with the emotions and feelings and are now on the other side. No matter where we are at, it’s exactly where we need to be right now and the only way up from here is to expand our opening.

Today’s exercise is recalling an experience in which pain moved through our hearts and to remember what we learned. If we are ready to begin this passage of opening, we can ask to do so now. Ask whoever or whatever you believe in to give you the strength and power you know you have within yourself to be open.

The memory I want to recall here is my only massive relationship which lasted almost 10 years on and off. The pain from that relationship was a mixed bag of emotions as you can imagine. Even though it was hard to let go of something familiar, there came a time when it didn’t feel right anymore. Lots of why’s get thrown around – why isn’t this going anywhere? why can’t I be accepted for who I am? why did I let this go on for so long? Etc etc. There were too many to list but you get the gist. Anyway, I think I really ignored some of the pain so I could just get on with life. It was a very weird situation, the day after I felt better because usually when I sleep on a problem, it’s not so bad or non-existent by the next day. I thought this odd for such a long relationship being over.

I think the pain started unravelling in ways that I didn’t realise. I don’t think I valued myself and my behaviour was questionable. I think anger started brewing in amongst the pain and I didn’t want to be alone. So, I drank a lot of alcohol. At a point, there was a wake-up call and I got professional help. I think what this psychologist really did for me was make me aware. Greatest gift I could receive. When I started being more aware, it made me deal with my feelings and really looked at what I wanted in life and partner. Even though I was aware, I wasn’t necessarily open to love again. I really closed off, because I had lovers where I exposed myself, and I was left a fool. I think when you make an effort and are rejected, it’s hard to remain positive. I’ve spent quite some time working on myself and living a good life for me, and I actually feel readier than ever to love again. I feel like the pain is finally passing.