Day 53 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - When the Inner Heart...

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

Lesson 53: When the inner heart...

Today’s lesson once again focuses on the inner heart – the Ananda Kanda. If we live with our heart within our heart to be fully open, it will remain open and we will be forever changed. When we open our inner heart fully, it will lead to “bliss, transcendence, nirvana”. I am to ask myself if I desire the inner heart (Ananda Kanda) to be open and if I do, to do it now.

I decided to meditate on this. I asked the Universe to open me up and asked for guidance from spirit. I envisioned my chest open, bursting out with white light – like I am ready to be receive as well as give. This light was so bright and I had it pulsating out from me in a circle. I imagined the Universe’s light shining down on me and filling me with it’s wisdom. I want to receive all that is meant for me, though I don’t want to always receiving without giving to others. I think whatever I can experience can also be shared. I don’t want to just take, take, take, if you know what I mean. I feel like I need to share also. I feel if I put my light out there, it will attract good people into my life.

I think this is a good exercise for anyone that wants to be more open than they ever thought they could be. Search within yourself and find your inner heart and meditate on what that inner heart wants.

Day 53 - A Year to Clear - It is Safe to Let Go

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Lesson 53: It is Safe to Let Go

Today’s lesson revolves around thinking of a story that I tell myself that is not true and what I’d like to release. I am to write it down and complete the following sentences:

• It is safe to let go of this story because____ [Notice and allow the part of you that does not feel so safe].
• I know that this story is not true because_____

I am meant to write everything that comes to my mind within a minute or until I feel complete. I decided to meditate on this story that’s been coming up lately that I really need to release.

Last year I really liked my friend, we slept together, certain things were said that gave me an impression things might go further, maybe it was in my head, I’m not sure, and don’t think that’s relevant, but after 2 failed methods of contraception, I fell pregnant, had an abortion against my own values because it meant I’d do pregnancy on my own. The toughest moments of my life was during this time and I hold onto feelings from this situation that are just not true. I hold onto the fact that I think I’m not worthy of love. I think I deserve love, but the memories of that situation, make me think that I’ll never find a partner that truly understands the kind of love I offer. During this time, I had to not only get over the feelings I had for my friend, I had to also recognise I lost my friend at the same time, as well as deal with depression of that abortion. There was a lot of questions of “why is this happening to me?” “what did I do to deserve this?”. You can’t help but feel this way when you’re faced with such trauma. I felt unloved and worthless in that moment. There’s an ugliness that brews inside that can take over and somehow it’s all you’re blinded by.

So I decided to meditate on this for release. It’s popped up many a time in recent weeks for me to deal with and release. I faced some truths. I asked my guides and the Universe to really let me confront those truths. These included:

·         My friend was in his own turmoil that he needed to sort out himself

·         There was nothing I could do to convince him that he could be with me

·         He was never going to be strong enough to deal with the abortion like I needed him to

·         He wasn’t the right person for me

·         I deserve someone that truly understands me and accepts me for who I am

·         It’s not my fault for trying

To finish the sentences I need to for today’s lesson:

• It is safe to let go of this story because it’s the past, the past cannot be changed, this person wasn’t good for me, the Universe is here for me and I was to learn from that experience.
• I know that this story is not true because I am a powerful being with much to offer and just because one person didn’t love me, doesn’t mean I won’t ever find the right partner.