Day 24 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - When You Were Small

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Lesson 24: When you were small...

Today’s lesson has me going to the past to remember what I loved as a child. Anything we dreamed of becoming as a child was to set us onto our soul path. I had to think of what I loved when I was 7, 10 and 13, then think about what I dreamed of becoming as well as how I wanted to live.

When I was quite young, I wanted to be a ballerina. I am not sure why but that was an interest. Unfortunately, I did not even take lessons due to my lack in confidence. Really sad when I think about it, as I didn’t really do any outside of school activities due to my lack in confidence. It’s something I am looking to fulfil as an adult because I think it’s never too late to live out your dreams. I will learn ballet soon and hope to fulfil all I dreamed of doing due to never trying it.

I believe when I was 10 I wanted to become a lawyer. I couldn’t tell you why, but I think I was copying someone else’s dream, and I didn’t know what being a lawyer actually meant. At this point in time, I really latched onto all the different influences around me and copied them a lot! I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted and this was the only way I could see myself fitting in. I think maybe I thought being a lawyer was some kind of prestigious job.

When I was 13, I am pretty sure I wanted to be a popstar. This was due to the influence of the Spice Girls. I thought being in the limelight would be so ideal! Just singing music and travelling the world whilst making money. I never took lessons, again to a lack in confidence but that didn’t stop me from enjoying singing. I think all those bubblegum pop music influences really set a good path for me to enjoy music. Something I didn’t do before.

I didn’t really have a dream as a teenager. I didn’t even really know what I wanted to do when I exited high school and went to university. I really lost a lot of confidence and had low esteem that I spent so much time feeling lost.  I dreamed about being famous but didn’t actually do anything significant to warrant fame. I think I dreamed about being far away from my own situation. It was more fantasy that really something I actually did. Then, I met my then boyfriend and thought I would just be a mother and have a family because that’s something I wanted, thought that never happened.

And here we are now.. I’ve had to remember things along the way that has set me on the path I am now. I wanted to be a witch and work with the light when I was younger, though I never pursued it as my then boyfriend reminded me we were Catholic and we didn’t believe in that. So I stopped that part of me. I’m 33 now, remembered this and am now on my way.  I know now that I want to be a writer as I enjoyed that as a child so one day (hopefully), I’ll write my book series. I want to explore the world and learn how other people live. I want to learn more languages so I can communicate with more people. I want to find more people like me on my spiritual path and really connect. I want to be more environmentally friendly and help people. This is all these things I have remembered and I hope as I go on, I remember more of what I am supposed to do for my future.

 

Day 24 - A Year to Clear - Signs of Stuck Energy

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Lesson 24: Signs of Stuck Energy

Today’s lesson revolves around understanding that any feelings of discomfort whilst clearing, is stuck energy being released.

I know clearing for me has always been a good feeling. I genuinely feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders every time I have tried to declutter my storage area. Never really thought about my discomfort as being stuck energy, but it makes sense. It’s a task that I have attempted many times and put off because it’s daunting. Then when I take the time to get rid of things that I haven’t used, I slowly feel better because I’m reducing my mess. There is still a little more work to do before I am satisfied. I feel like I am half way there and once I get my home really set up the way I want to, then I will feel at ease. Need more release to open more space. I also don’t want to overwhelm myself so will continue with this slow drip method until the physical excess is all cleared. Look forward to that day.

Day 23 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Pets & Healing

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Lesson 23: Our pets have come to heal us...

Today’s lesson delves deeper with our connection with our pets. The question posed is if I can hear them communicating with me. Why are they here and what are they here to help us with?

I feel like my cats Picasso and Miu Miu are here to remind me that I’m not alone. That even during the hardest of times, they are always there. They heal me just by being there. They remind me that I have the ability to love and have that love returned. Though I may not feel it all the time, it’s always there. They are nurturing when I need a moment to try and feel good. All of this done through no communication at all.

Sometimes I wish I could communicate with them directly through conversation because then I could really know how they are feeling. Like if they are sick, how can I really tell? I’d love to have that ability to communicate. I can’t say that I sense them when I’m not around them – maybe that’s a deeper connection I need to develop. They’ve seen me at my worst and I feel like they just know when I need comfort. I can call on Picasso to chill with me whenever though Miu Miu can be a bit aloof.

When I think of my old dog Misty, I remember she would get excited like a puppy. I used to think “oh I hope she doesn’t get too excited and keel over”. It was just this vibrant energy that would make me smile but something I lacked. She was the biggest dork but had love for everyone. Such a friendly being and a reminder that you can give unconditional love and not expect it in return. It’s that outward love that can make all the difference in your life. Send it out and see what it returned.

Day 23 - A Year to Clear - Clearing For Good

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Lesson 23: Clearing For Good

Today’s lesson is to consider compassionate awareness when clearing really releases all the stuck energy for good. I believe this to be true.

As I was going through all my clothing and shoes in my store room, I knew that my belongings would be going to good use to someone else. Original intention was to give my stuff to my friend’s daughter, but then I had some mouse come visit my house, and my mate was not game in taking them. So, I lugged all those garbage bags full of clothes to the charity bin downstairs of my building. I think they will go to someone that will make better use of them than I have.

But on the flip side I had compassion for myself. That it was okay to have this build up, but at the same time it was okay to let it go. It’s almost like a forgiveness or reassurance to yourself. This was the old part of you and you’re not a bad person for letting go of attachment that doesn’t serve you anymore. I think when I was doing the activity there was a lot of “why do I do this to myself?” but I followed it up with a “I can do this!”. It’s a lot of rewiring of the brain, but with more practise, I will get there.

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EDIT: I realise now what clearing with compassion can extend to... the compassion I need for myself and that I have for others also. My journal entry really proved what you can let go of by holding compassion. A stuck memory (which is essentially stuck energy) from some harmful words residing in my subconscious resurfaced for me to deal with and I chose to release it with compassion because I'm bigger than that memory now.

Day 22 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - The Animals We Have

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Lesson 22: The animals we have...

“Lesson 22: The animals we have as “pets” are not here to serve us, or to entertain us. They’re soul contracts are the same as ours—to come into family, home, place of being, and to experience what they are here to experience.”

— Sara Wiseman

I currently have 2 cats Miu Miu and Picasso. When I lived back home with mum, we had 5 cats which comprised of additional cats Chopper, Sapphire and Sable. Chopper was our first cat who ran away from his family and turned up on the doorstep of one of my brother’s ex’s. He has major attachment to my mum and has anxiety when she’s not around. Sable was a cat I bought from a breeder and she is a Scottish fold cross – FYI she never liked me. Picasso and Sapphire (Saffy) were abandoned kittens that we came across from our vet and were going to be put down if no one took them. They were part of a litter of 8 and thankfully, people in the community adopted the rest. Saffy didn’t like me either even though she is meant to be my cat. Miu Miu was my ex’s cat that he brought home after we said no more cats! She was just this sweet innocent girl, part of litter from my ex’s mum’s cat who just gave birth.

 

Sapphire

Sable

Chopper

When I moved, I wasn’t sure which cats to bring over. Sable should have moved, but then I didn’t know who else to bring over, since both Sable and Saffy didn’t like me. So I knew Miu Miu should be here and mum said I couldn’t separate her from Picasso since they are best friends. So I took my ex’s cat and my mums. They didn’t really have a choice so I hope they’d like Melbourne.

I haven’t noticed any other animals today though this lesson did spark some memory of my dog Misty. I adopted Misty when she was about 8 years old from a rescue shelter. No one wanted her because of her age and she was malamute mixed with another breed that no one knew of exactly. She wasn’t a huge dog like a malamute but larger than most dogs. She really had a lot of love and energy. When I moved to Melbourne, I couldn’t really take her with me. As she got on in years, she stayed with mum and then one day when I was back visiting in Perth, she passed away in her sleep. Mum told me during that day Misty had trouble standing up, and slowly life was escaping her. When I imagine her now, I hope she’s running around in fields in the next life with all the other animals, just enjoying her time. I hope we gave her enough love in her older age. Makes me tear up thinking about her. The one thing I always associate with Misty is thunder and lightning – she was awfully scared and would jump in my bed to hide from it. We didn’t allow have her in our bed normally, but I did on those occasions, so she could have comfort. It’s amazing how animals can have the same feelings and fears as us. The only difference is that they can’t always communicate it to us.

 

Misty

What I find amazing about my animals is that they can sense when I am sad or sick. I remember Chopper used to hang around me more when I was about to get sick. When I am sad, Miu Miu and Picasso spend more time with me than normal. They are naturally comforting. I honestly never thought about animals coming here to experience. Is it through my own experiences, that they share too? I know they definitely become part of the family and have a sense of belonging. This lesson makes me think more about more memories I can give my cats and maybe I should be giving them more experiences – they are restricted in being indoor cats only. Something to think about, I believe.

Picasso and Miu Miu