Day 31 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Stuck

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Lesson 31: When we are stuck...

Today’s lesson revolves around our use of the words “yes” and “no”. When we say “no” we are to consider this as being stuck, there is nothing we should say no to but that it’s all part of our journey and soul growth. We should always be saying “yes”.

I am having trouble figuring out what events and circumstances in which I say no to. This spiritual path I’m on has me the most open I’ve ever been. When you think about all the trivial things we worry about in western society, I’ve learned that none of it matters in the end. When I place my experience with western society against my trip to an elephant village in Thailand last year, it really puts things in perspective. Seeing the way other people living with simplicity opened my eyes, but it also opened my eyes to more conservation required and environmental issues. I was telling a friend yesterday how I struggled to conform back into the way we live in the western world after that trip. I feel now that I am sucked back into the negative cycle that it can be. I’m all for living through experience now but sometimes the conditioning we succumb to in the western world can be inhibiting. We stress in this fast paced environment that isn’t beneficial to our overall health. But anyway…. I’ve gone off topic.

I am 34 this year and I feel like I haven’t really been living. I wasted some time in my 20s but I’m using my time now to really live. I go see live music more than I ever have, I am starting on my creative projects, I push my comfort zones in order to learn. I rarely say no now. I might say no because I want rest, but when I think about it, I’m actually saying yes to some relaxation time. My friend Bonny actually taught me how his life turned around because he started saying yes to everything. It’s kind of like the Jim Carrey movie “Yes Man” – by how saying yes to everything can lead to a very enriching, full, eventful and positive experience. So, that’s how I live now. I live through experience because that’s how I will feel successful in life. Lots of things on the bucket list (a list I’ve misplaced) but there is still a lot of travelling to do, mastery of my witchcraft and light work and eventually I want  to be healing the world. I say yes to everything that allows me to truly live.

Day 31 - A Year to Clear - Feeling vs Emoting

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Lesson 31: Feeling vs. Emoting

“Feeling as a vehicle for clearing is not the same as emoting.
Feeling is not an expressive act but an ability to open up the channels that allow information — be it highly charged or not — to simply pass through us.”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

I’ve read today’s lesson over and over just to absorb it in my head. It’s taking awhile :P

What has been coming up lately is repressed memories that affected me at the time. I don’t hold onto these memories per se, it’s more like they don’t impact me. but they are in my subconscious resurfacing maybe to place the final nail in the coffin. I have been allowing this information to come through but I haven’t necessarily dealt with them all yet. I want to meditate tonight on it, learn the lesson and/or use compassion and then release it.  

I have had the memory of my mum’s ex-boyfriend come up and some nasty stuff he said to me. I have dealt with that and feel like it’s done and dusted. It came as a shock to me because I hadn’t thought about that in ages and didn’t understand it’s relevance. But, with this compassion awareness in one of the lessons, I then understood  what I needed to do. I feel like there will be a lot to confront but I know I’ll be happy once that day comes when there is nothing left buried. Now I have a lot of suppressed memories of ex-lovers popping up. I haven’t dealt with those yet but I will start meditating on them one by one. It’s not that I am avoiding them, it’s because a few came at once and I feel like I need to dedicate the right amount of time to each one. I feel like once I meditate on each of them, the information that is required will come to me and then I will release.