Day 49 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Some People Armour Up

Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Lesson 49: Some people armour up...

Today’s lesson focuses on our heart’s armour. Some of us tend to put an armour around out heart because it’s a misconception that we need to protect ourselves. If we live with more of an open heart, the more transcendent we can be. I am to think of my preferred method of heart’s armour and if I believe I completely open. If I think I am completely open, to look again.

I believe my heart’s armour is my self-doubt. I tend to not fully believe I’m capable, or that what I’m doing is wrong, because I’m a perfectionist when it comes to any task. If I don’t conquer something, then I’m some form of failure. I also do realise that this is a very pressured existence and I think I’m slowly learning to let go of things and let things be. I am letting the universe just guide me to where I need to go and can say quite honestly that I am not as armoured as I used to be.

I think I also tend to hide behind “I’m just working on myself”. Yes, it’s good to work on yourself for some self-improvement or self-care, but how long do you really want to leave yourself closed to other people, because you’re working on yourself. I think I have used this as an excuse that prevents me from finding a partner. I definitely think I needed it at one point or another, though it prevented me in being open to the possibility. There may have been missed opportunities that I didn’t even realise.

And finally, I think I really closed off after I had my abortion. I know I fear getting pregnant again without having the support of a partner. Coupled with those feelings was the constant let down of past lovers. I feel as though people run scared from something real, almost like they think they don’t deserve to be loved. I offer my love because no one’s baggage is too much for me. I know I can take on another’s baggage as well as love them. For some reason, showing this has been my downfall and I don’t want to continue to give my all if it’s not going to be received. I guess my armour in this is that I don’t want to reveal so much if I’m just going to be disappointed. It’s a tough dating world out there and I want someone to understand me. It’s kind of a catch 22, if I’m not open I won’t meet someone, but if I reveal too much, somehow people can’t handle me.

I want to live more openly. I think a lot of the time I do, though I sometimes close off from the world when I lose a little bit of hope in others, I don’t understand why people do what they do, or I’ve had a bad day and everyone’s energy is off causing me to be a little off. Maybe that’s the point, be open to all, the good and the bad, so that a natural flow will occur without you blocking it.

Day 49 - A Year to Clear - Check In WEEK 7 - Going Slow to Go Fast

Photo by Ryan Johnston on Unsplash

Lesson 49: Check In WEEK 7 - Going Slow to Go Fast

End of another week. I've always found lists to be helpful in tackling life tasks, but never thought to make a sub-list to that list. I have liked the lesson of really breaking it down and taking your time to action each task. How many actions will it take for you to clear one task, but also taking time with those actions.

Being able to break it down will also trigger less stressful responses. I like having reassurance that it's okay to action clearing tasks, or any tasks for that matter, in your own time. You shouldn't let yourself be guided by other people's standards and take the time you need to clear. 

Day 48 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Opening Your Heart

Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash

Lesson 48: Do you think opening your heart...

Saturday’s lesson has us opening our heart just a little more.  We are to close our eyes and imagine the divine light come in. imagine your chest being opened, and light flowing into you, into each layer, to all your extremities and feel what happens to your body. It may feel overwhelming and new but at the same time, there may be an extreme relief.

I love this type of exercise as I usually do it every now and then. I imagine the divine light above me always shining down. I imagine my chakras being opened whilst the light flows in and out of my body. It’s like a cleanse. I imagined this time my chest fully open and allowed the light to come in. I imagined this light reaching all parts of my body. It’s very healing and calming. Can really take your mind off things. I could feel a slight vibration flow over my arms and chest. I figured this was a reminder of the healing energy. I am trying to live open for a better self and I am open to receiving what comes.

I always feel good after meditation. There is less heaviness in my head and my body has a weight lifted. We can all live a little lighter by taking on meditation for some clarity, insight and healing.

Day 48 - A Year to Clear - To Do Or Not To Do

Photo by Daniel Monteiro on Unsplash

Lesson 48: To Do Or Not To Do

Saturday’s lesson is not so much of a lesson but a reminder of this slow drip method. People often stop to wonder how to clear physical spaces but Stephanie reminds us that it’s a slow drip method taking on the “emotional stuckness and resisting patterns” in order to release. It’s more than just physical excess and it’s about the emotional reaction we get through our clearing processes.

I sometimes do get frustrated at this course but I find that it’s got such a great beneficial outcome. It helps with me to overcome overwhelm and manage it but also that stuck memories and habits come up for release. You don’t realise how much self-improvement you need until you’re actual faced with some confronting truths. Stephanie always mentions that it’s not a race - such a simple concept and yet difficult at the same time. I think in the environment I’m in, everything is very much a race. Everyone is competitive and always have something to prove. I don’t really feel like I care as much as people do in trying to be the best at work, or trying to show off that they have all these cool material items that I don’t have. I really don’t care about that anymore. I most certainly used to. I believe if we can stop caring so much about what others think, it makes for some really good self care.

Day 47 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - The Heart is Closed

Photo by Olivier Fahrni on Unsplash

Lesson 47: The heart is closed four ways...

“Lesson 47: The heart is closed four ways: first by the physical body, next by the emotional armour we all wear, next by the physical heart itself, and finally, at the very center of everything, is your inner heart, the heart within your heart, your secret heart: Ananda Kanda. This is what desires to be cracked open to the world.”

— Sara Wiseman

So I had a pretty shitty week and decided that I needed my weekend. So no lessons and I just wanted to do my own thing. It means I play catch up but I needed a bit of sanity back.

Friday’s lesson talks about Ananda Kanda. I didn’t know what this was until I googled it. From my understanding, Ananda Kanda is the “root of bliss” and it is the spiritual heart. I feel like it’s your true intent and true being. Just the purest of love, intention and desire.

I am meant to recall my heart within my heart and even if my heart is locked away, it can be opened.  I thought meditation is a good way to gain some answers.

So my meditation started with my walking through my heart into some white light. There I could see my secret heart. It was a white ball of light and I looked upon it. From there, I held up the light and splashed it over my face, kind of like when you go to wash your face in a sink. The light spread through my body and suddenly it was like I was living as my purest self. There was me, very childlike and the message I took from it, was that to remember what it was like to be a child when you looked upon the world with amazement, everything seemed fresh and you’re fired by wonder. For me, it’s about regaining some of that passion we had as children, where we were confident to say and do anything. There is no reason why we can’t have that same brightness as adults. Obviously not to say and do things that are offensive, but to really drive yourself to those depths be free. I really felt free in this meditation.

I then had a wand and it was like when you have a sparkler, the end was lit and I was just painting random patterns of light whilst dancing around. The wand also made pictures of healing the world. I can be a healer, maybe not on a global scale, or maybe very much so on a global scale, but it was a reminder that I can become this greater person. I know I want to help people, even if my words or actions made a difference in one person’s life, that’s a good uplifting experience and I know it’s going to take a lot of hard work to get there.

The final images I got shown was me raising wands with others in a collective. I was also holding hands with them in a circle, sort of skipping around in a circle. It was a very united and safe feeling. It showed me that the community I seek in the tasks, goals and dreams that I have will form in time. There are people out there like me and will help me on my way. It also showed me the peace there is to be had on this earth if we all work together.  Acts of kindness do go a long way.

So in conclusion, I feel like I have to stick to what I’m doing, expand my knowledge and work hard on my dreams. I need to remember to have the same awe as a child, because there’s a certain calmness to approaching life with amazement, and not get bogged down by trivial matters. We can live a bit freer if don’t let the worry cloud our minds.