Day 82 - A year of Spiritual Awakening - It is Impossible to Skip Steps...

Photo by Will O on Unsplash

Lesson 82: It is Impossible to Skip Steps...

To be truly open to accept your pain can be a fast process if you want it to be. You need to be ready. You can be ready now and ask the Universe to allow you to feel all the pain now and then move onwards to a greater version of you. This all depends on how you feel and when you want to release.

Yesterday, I went to my hypnotherapy session with my medium teacher. The past traumas I’ve had and wanted to let go of the attached emotions and feelings include: my father mentally and emotionally abusing me, my ex-boyfriend in how he treated me, past lovers, the racism I experienced, my abortion and that whole situation, my mum’s ex-boyfriend saying nasty words to me and an ex-friend who really let me down. I have truly felt all this pain over the years and recent months. I think I have lived with it too long and that’s why I sought out hypnotherapy because I truly didn’t want to be hindered by this anymore. Yes, I could have worked through it myself and it would have been dissipated over time, but I just wanted a good release.

I was put into a deep trance or meditation if you will. There were times when I really could hear her words but others times I was zoning out – this is normal. There were moments where I thought to myself “oh that’s something really nice to do” but for the life of me don’t actually remember what she said…and maybe I’m not meant to remember as it will unfold. I actually felt like I may have fallen asleep but whatever bad feelings she erased, she placed positive things for me into my subconscious. That’s what this hypnotherapy does – erase the attached feeling or emotion you have to a situation, which in fact causes your own responses to day to day life situations. For instance, I immediately go on a defensive if I hear people talk about Asians in a bad manner because I was racially abused in my younger years for being Asian. Another example is that I’ve been called ugly by others and made to feel ugly from my dad, this has evolved over time where I feel bad about myself if I look in the mirror and assumed I’m not pretty enough etc. My teacher really took those negative reactions away. The memory still remains but I don’t get any bad feeling towards the situation or person now. It’s really an odd feeling because it’s new. I don’t know what she did, but whatever is filled in my subconscious now is all positive.

 I don’t look on those past memories and feel bad about myself anymore. I can’t wait to see what unfolds as the days go on and I start living to the truest version of myself. It’s quite exciting.

Day 81 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - It is Impossible to Reject Pain...

Photo by Tiko Giorgadze on Unsplash

Lesson 81: It is Impossible to Reject Pain...

Today is about really accepting the fact that you cannot reject the pain you feel. It’s a natural part of life. You can’t just live in positivity of the light as we can only let the light in once we’ve opened ourselves to the fact we need to pass through pain. The exercise for today is to notice if you want to skip steps and resist this. It is presumptuous in advising “Notice the tantrum that ensues!”

I personally have come to accept all my pain and know that it’s the only way for me to really explore my spiritual journey. I think it’s natural for people to want to resist the fact that they should experience their pain in order to grow. It’s actually tough to recognise that you would grow if you dealt with your pain. And, it takes a lot of self-awareness. Sometimes things are too painful in having to really explore it and that’s also very understandable. People really work through their issues in their own time

I don’t like how this course has made a presumption that all people will chuck a tantrum at the idea of having to deal with pain. Not everyone feels this resistance. Many people recognise they have things to work through and they will. I also think it’s natural for people to really want to avoid dealing with pain and want to skip out on it altogether, but that’s not to say they won’t revisit it at a later stage.
 

I think if you want to deal with it and release it, ask the Divine for help. If you want to do it slowly, then do it slowly. If you want to visit it at a later stage, then do that. No one can tell you how you should deal with your pain and you can do it in your own time and not on anyone’s clock. When you’re ready, then you’re ready.

Day 81 - A Year to Clear - Tune Into Your Home or Workplace

Photo by Kiwihug on Unsplash

Lesson 81: Tune Into Your Home or Workplace

Today is all about tuning into your home or workplace and see how it feels for you. What does the weather map show for you when you enter certain spaces or rooms? Are you more prone to go to certain rooms because it feels good?

At work, I love my current desk because it’s next to the window and it’s warming when the sun shines. I find it’s a more open space. I find the mood of the people can really make a room. If everyone is stressed then that can change the mood of the room. If you’re around approachable people, then the room is inviting and fun. Like today I had a laugh with my co-workers because of something funny that happened. The room really felt alive at that point but when we go back to our work, it’s quite settled and quiet.

If I think of my home, it’s a loft apartment and has open living. I really feel like something is missing even though it’s cluttered. I think the feeling is that I haven’t truly made the space my own. It’s more that I just live there. So I guess I feel a bit unsettled in my own home in this way. I will make it a good space to live in time but for now it seems very much incomplete and therefore I feel that way also.

What do your spaces feel like for you?

Day 80 - A Year to Clear - Not All Spaces Feel the Same

Photo by Sayan Nath on Unsplash

Lesson 80: Not All Spaces Feel the Same

Do you ever visit places and sense the energy of the place? Some places feel really good and some places you visit just don’t feel right?

Today is about recognising the homes or buildings you may visit that feel good or bad to you. Letting the sensations arise and do it without judgement.

I personally don’t like going into clubs because it makes me anxious. I don’t like the feeling of being boxed in with no room to breathe. This can happen in crowded places also. Even if work spaces are cramped, I get this sort of claustrophobic feeling and then anxiety settles in for a bit. I have just learned to accept this about myself because it really depends of the circumstances and how I would feel in tightly packed rooms.

I don’t think I have ever stepped into someone’s home and not felt good. I think I can be around people who make it seem like I’m not wanted there but the actual space always feel good to me. I don’t think I’ve ever stepped into someone’s home and felt some negative wave come over me. I like to view people’s home as their charm. Each home has personality and I appreciate that. I think the only times where I may have felt out of place is in hotel rooms. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel right but that’s because so many people pass through which means there is so much energy flow in and out of that particular room.

That’s all I’ve got. What do you feel in particular homes and buildings?

Day 80 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - If You Do Not Want...

Photo by Das Sasha on Unsplash

Lesson 80: If you do not want...

Today is about another reiteration of pain. That pain can only be passed through, and there is no way to avoid it by going around it, or placing it on hold. If you don’t want to continue being in pain, it’s about taking on board ALL of the pain in order for your to move forward from it.

So, in the next few days think about all the pain in your life and really take a moment with yourself to feel it all. Then ready yourself to let it all go and the exercise says to just simply release it. You have the power to do this. We all have the power.

I personally feel that my problem is all the attached feeling and emotions I have that come along with pain that I need to release. Like anger, sadness, disappointment… the list goes on and on. I think feeling the pain fully is doable, but then I still think those attached feelings may reside, which is not something easily you can let go of because they are ingrained into your habits, or are your go to reaction (which is automatic) when faced with a similar situation.

What I really think with all the exercises with pain is to more mindful and have more acceptance of it. It’s a natural part of life but it’s how you can overcome it that makes the difference. I definitely think we can release the circumstances that have caused us pain, though don’t think releasing the attached emotions and feelings is as easily done. I feel like that can take time with some retraining of the brain in how we do things and how we react to things. I don’t know, what do you think?