Day 32 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Awake

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Lesson 32: Being here now means...

“Lesson 32: Being here now means getting awake, and staying awake. It’s really easy to doze off in the routine of schedules, to dos, shoulds, fear, fantasy, addiction. If you’re really awake, life looks like a whole different animal.”

— Sara Wiseman

 Today I am to note how awake I am. I’m about 40% because I was adamant to see the Super Blue Blood Moon at 23:50 (when it was full), which I am sooooo glad I did. It’s something rare and beautiful, and I was willing to sacrifice sleep in order to have a glimpse.

So what will require me to be more awake? Maybe for work to be more interesting, so I stay engaged day to day. My job is a bit in limbo because there has been a restructure and there is no direction. Most days are boring and I am quite the person who appreciates structure.

I am to just simply ask to be more awake. I did a spell last night for me to have more concentration in general, so I can be more awake. For those that don’t know me, yes I’m a practising witch and light worker.  I sat at my desk to do a quick meditation and asked to be more alert and awake. As I closed my eyes I saw a hexagonal shape with a palm that had an eye in it. I feel like this is more intuitive clarity and my “awake” -ness is more spiritual than being awake for the day to day grind.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for now. Maybe that’s all I needed.

Day 31 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - Stuck

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Lesson 31: When we are stuck...

Today’s lesson revolves around our use of the words “yes” and “no”. When we say “no” we are to consider this as being stuck, there is nothing we should say no to but that it’s all part of our journey and soul growth. We should always be saying “yes”.

I am having trouble figuring out what events and circumstances in which I say no to. This spiritual path I’m on has me the most open I’ve ever been. When you think about all the trivial things we worry about in western society, I’ve learned that none of it matters in the end. When I place my experience with western society against my trip to an elephant village in Thailand last year, it really puts things in perspective. Seeing the way other people living with simplicity opened my eyes, but it also opened my eyes to more conservation required and environmental issues. I was telling a friend yesterday how I struggled to conform back into the way we live in the western world after that trip. I feel now that I am sucked back into the negative cycle that it can be. I’m all for living through experience now but sometimes the conditioning we succumb to in the western world can be inhibiting. We stress in this fast paced environment that isn’t beneficial to our overall health. But anyway…. I’ve gone off topic.

I am 34 this year and I feel like I haven’t really been living. I wasted some time in my 20s but I’m using my time now to really live. I go see live music more than I ever have, I am starting on my creative projects, I push my comfort zones in order to learn. I rarely say no now. I might say no because I want rest, but when I think about it, I’m actually saying yes to some relaxation time. My friend Bonny actually taught me how his life turned around because he started saying yes to everything. It’s kind of like the Jim Carrey movie “Yes Man” – by how saying yes to everything can lead to a very enriching, full, eventful and positive experience. So, that’s how I live now. I live through experience because that’s how I will feel successful in life. Lots of things on the bucket list (a list I’ve misplaced) but there is still a lot of travelling to do, mastery of my witchcraft and light work and eventually I want  to be healing the world. I say yes to everything that allows me to truly live.

Day 31 - A Year to Clear - Feeling vs Emoting

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Lesson 31: Feeling vs. Emoting

“Feeling as a vehicle for clearing is not the same as emoting.
Feeling is not an expressive act but an ability to open up the channels that allow information — be it highly charged or not — to simply pass through us.”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

I’ve read today’s lesson over and over just to absorb it in my head. It’s taking awhile :P

What has been coming up lately is repressed memories that affected me at the time. I don’t hold onto these memories per se, it’s more like they don’t impact me. but they are in my subconscious resurfacing maybe to place the final nail in the coffin. I have been allowing this information to come through but I haven’t necessarily dealt with them all yet. I want to meditate tonight on it, learn the lesson and/or use compassion and then release it.  

I have had the memory of my mum’s ex-boyfriend come up and some nasty stuff he said to me. I have dealt with that and feel like it’s done and dusted. It came as a shock to me because I hadn’t thought about that in ages and didn’t understand it’s relevance. But, with this compassion awareness in one of the lessons, I then understood  what I needed to do. I feel like there will be a lot to confront but I know I’ll be happy once that day comes when there is nothing left buried. Now I have a lot of suppressed memories of ex-lovers popping up. I haven’t dealt with those yet but I will start meditating on them one by one. It’s not that I am avoiding them, it’s because a few came at once and I feel like I need to dedicate the right amount of time to each one. I feel like once I meditate on each of them, the information that is required will come to me and then I will release.

Day 30 - A Year to Clear - Feel to Heal

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Lesson 30: Feel to Heal

Today we are to reflect on the following: Using our six senses reveals our blocks. If we are to be witness to those sensations without attachment, it will release these blockages. Any feelings and emotions that come up, we should let arise without judging them.

I have found a lot has been coming up from my intuition and sight. I can’t say I’ve used my sense of touch, smell, hearing or taste. I am foreign to the concept of using those other four senses for clearing though I’m sure this course will unfold it.

Recently I’ve been receiving images of past conflicts, buried memories and uncomfortable situations that I maybe didn’t fully deal with at the time. I’m actually happy that all of these circumstances that once bothered me are resurfacing. Why? Because then I can actually deal with it and release it. I want every nook and cranny of my mind to be free of these limiting thoughts. Even if I’ve associated it with a particular feeling, I want to be able to work through this, as part of my own personal growth. Like yesterday, two past lovers came up and I know I need to work through those as part of my release. I do not want anything buried in my subconscious to just linger. So as I’ve been given bit by bit, I can relate these back to the senses of intuition and sight – sight in the sense of replaying how it went down and recognising things I never noticed before.

Interested to know how the other four senses come about but I guess I won’t know until the time comes to use them.

Day 30 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - If You Are Not Happy...

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Lesson 30: If you are not happy...

Today is all about self-reflection. If you aren’t happy in your life, why are you living it that way? Life is definitely a rollercoaster and it’s never meant to be easy. I believe the best times come out of the unexpected, because even though you may be thrown curve balls, it’s how you can triumph over it that makes you a stronger person. We should lose fear and really go with what life gives us.

I used to be quite unhappy but with some good dose of self-awareness, I was able to come to the conclusion, that only I have the power to change my life. Anyone can bounce back from the shittest of circumstances if you are willing to open yourself up for healing as well as learn the lesson being taught. I think I’m definitely a changed person from the most traumatic events of my life. I am opening up to how I can rise above my own personal circumstances and it doesn’t really seem so hard anymore. I used to be such a stress head that I would get to the point of feeling like I was going to vomit. I just don’t live that way anymore.

You’re probably wondering how did I achieve this? Well, it’s a lot of trust in something much larger than myself – that being the universe. If I can still live after the lowest and darkest point in my life, then I can do anything really. The only limit anyone has is themselves. It’s why I am trying to remember what I liked or wanted to do as a child and trying to implement them now as an adult. It’s never too late to achieve your dreams and goals. I also take pride in appreciating the simple things. Sometimes we are so blinded by a negative stint that we don’t stop and really have gratitude for the goodness in our lives. For example, I live in Australia – it’s one of the safest countries in the world, I have a roof over my head, I have a stable income, I have built a good support network, I can put food on the table. Simple things we sometimes take for granted when others are suffering more than we are.

I don’t worry about the future so much. I know what goals I have and I know what I have to do to achieve them. Obviously if I slack off then that’s my own fault. I don’t fear what’s coming. I don’t think anyone should. We all have bad cycles and good cycles. We just need to take the time to learn the lesson even if we don’t want to see it at the time. I’m surrounded by good energy and therefore if I maintain a positive outlook, no matter what the circumstance, I will lead a very enriched life. You build your own pathway. No one else builds your life for you. So what’s the worst that can happen by taking a chance?