Day 54 - A Year to Clear - Simple Clearing Process

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Lesson 54: Simple Clearing Process

Today’s exercise involves a meditation/visualisation which is something I already do. Basically Stephanie mentions imagine all your worry is a ball of “sluggish energy” that resides within your own personal field. You are to imagine that bad energy just melting or seeping away and replace it with bright sparkling energy to help restore you. Once you have done this once, you can do it every day to release this energy.

The approach I actually take is every time I breathe in, I imagine white pure energy being inhaled and when I exhale, it’s black dark energy exiting my body. I imagine the white energy spreading through all parts of my body. It’s a very refreshing and uplifting feeling. Like you are anew and can conquer anything.

I believe everyone has their own way of using this simple clearing process. You should try it today! You don’t know how much good it can do!

Day 54 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - No One Will Come to Fix You

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Lesson 54: No one will come to fix you...

Today’s lesson focuses on the only way to heal is by yourself. No one can really help you but they can be witness to your own “human experience”. If we can start to understand this, the sooner we will heal. I am to think about who I depend on and who depends on me. Have these relationships grown and stuck around? How would you like your relationships to be and how would you like yourself to be?

I depend on myself. This I learned when I went through my major relationship break up. There was no one that could get me through those feelings, the independence I had to take on and learning path I struggled through. I knew that there was no one to pick me back up but myself. It was a hard reality realising this – the dependency of a partner was gone and I had to get one with it. I had to learn how to live on my own, make decisions on my own and push comfort zones embracing a new city that I had moved to. I can definitely say it was a good challenge and although I didn’t know what I was doing, I’m grateful for it. Ever since then, I have realised that the best person to help you is yourself. Not that I always close myself off to assistance, but I definitely know I’m the person who knows what how to make me happy again. No one else can do this for me.

I am a good listener. I feel like I am depended on heavily. I think there is a natural attraction to me, where by people think they can get good advice. Some of these relationships have stuck and some have naturally dropped off over time. I think not all relationships need to stick around for all of time. I think some people come about to hold a purpose for that time and sometimes you outgrow each other. I don’t want to go about listing them all because I feel like it’d be a novel. Some relationships last, some just don’t, and that’s okay.

I think I know what I want out of my relationships. I know I want the same respect that I deal out. I know I don’t want to be surrounded by toxic people because they can be draining. I know I am living the best life I possibly can be and want others to do the same. I know that relationships hold different value and I wouldn’t change the relationships I currently have. If anything, as I grow to be more understanding and caring on a larger scale, I’d like to see people have more empathy towards others, and the Earth. I know this is a massive ask and people aren’t aware, and/or don’t want to know how this Earth is crying out for help, but we really need to come together as a conscious collective to heal the world. I mean, I dream big and hope one day, that all the people I encounter has the same mindset as myself.

Day 53 - A Year of Spiritual Awakening - When the Inner Heart...

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Lesson 53: When the inner heart...

Today’s lesson once again focuses on the inner heart – the Ananda Kanda. If we live with our heart within our heart to be fully open, it will remain open and we will be forever changed. When we open our inner heart fully, it will lead to “bliss, transcendence, nirvana”. I am to ask myself if I desire the inner heart (Ananda Kanda) to be open and if I do, to do it now.

I decided to meditate on this. I asked the Universe to open me up and asked for guidance from spirit. I envisioned my chest open, bursting out with white light – like I am ready to be receive as well as give. This light was so bright and I had it pulsating out from me in a circle. I imagined the Universe’s light shining down on me and filling me with it’s wisdom. I want to receive all that is meant for me, though I don’t want to always receiving without giving to others. I think whatever I can experience can also be shared. I don’t want to just take, take, take, if you know what I mean. I feel like I need to share also. I feel if I put my light out there, it will attract good people into my life.

I think this is a good exercise for anyone that wants to be more open than they ever thought they could be. Search within yourself and find your inner heart and meditate on what that inner heart wants.

Day 53 - A Year to Clear - It is Safe to Let Go

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Lesson 53: It is Safe to Let Go

Today’s lesson revolves around thinking of a story that I tell myself that is not true and what I’d like to release. I am to write it down and complete the following sentences:

• It is safe to let go of this story because____ [Notice and allow the part of you that does not feel so safe].
• I know that this story is not true because_____

I am meant to write everything that comes to my mind within a minute or until I feel complete. I decided to meditate on this story that’s been coming up lately that I really need to release.

Last year I really liked my friend, we slept together, certain things were said that gave me an impression things might go further, maybe it was in my head, I’m not sure, and don’t think that’s relevant, but after 2 failed methods of contraception, I fell pregnant, had an abortion against my own values because it meant I’d do pregnancy on my own. The toughest moments of my life was during this time and I hold onto feelings from this situation that are just not true. I hold onto the fact that I think I’m not worthy of love. I think I deserve love, but the memories of that situation, make me think that I’ll never find a partner that truly understands the kind of love I offer. During this time, I had to not only get over the feelings I had for my friend, I had to also recognise I lost my friend at the same time, as well as deal with depression of that abortion. There was a lot of questions of “why is this happening to me?” “what did I do to deserve this?”. You can’t help but feel this way when you’re faced with such trauma. I felt unloved and worthless in that moment. There’s an ugliness that brews inside that can take over and somehow it’s all you’re blinded by.

So I decided to meditate on this for release. It’s popped up many a time in recent weeks for me to deal with and release. I faced some truths. I asked my guides and the Universe to really let me confront those truths. These included:

·         My friend was in his own turmoil that he needed to sort out himself

·         There was nothing I could do to convince him that he could be with me

·         He was never going to be strong enough to deal with the abortion like I needed him to

·         He wasn’t the right person for me

·         I deserve someone that truly understands me and accepts me for who I am

·         It’s not my fault for trying

To finish the sentences I need to for today’s lesson:

• It is safe to let go of this story because it’s the past, the past cannot be changed, this person wasn’t good for me, the Universe is here for me and I was to learn from that experience.
• I know that this story is not true because I am a powerful being with much to offer and just because one person didn’t love me, doesn’t mean I won’t ever find the right partner.

Day 52 - A Year to Clear - Not True

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Lesson 52: Not True

“I like using the word “spin” to describe what we do with thoughts, beliefs, and stories that no longer serve us. It also has a nice double-meaning:
We can spin a web (of worries, untruths, painful memories), like a spider spins her web. Or we can chew on a thought so much that we spin in circles and go nowhere fast.”

— Stephanie Bennett Vogt

By spinning these negative thoughts, they cycle through and get us stuck with our continual attention. We tend to stick to these stories which really do us no good. Imagine being stuck on something negative and never being able to break the cycle of this bad habit. I am to think today what story am I spinning in and that I’d like to release.

Honestly, the current story I am spinning is my work situation. For those that don’t know, my company had a restructure which meant I am transitioning to the new role. Currently there is management arguing whether it’s a good change, whilst my department specifically got dismantled and now some people are questioning why. We should have stayed together to do the one job that people are now trying to avoid. So here I am stuck in limbo until someone decides what to do with us. It’s very demoralising at work for not only me and my team mates. I just hope at the end of it all, they don’t decide “oh hey you’ve all lost your jobs” mostly because I need this to survive.

The problem is, every day there is little bits of news that isn’t good news to my situation and this is why I keep telling my story daily. If I could release this, it would really do me some good.